Our Yard Sale Benefit

Whew! We had our huge yard sale on October 18th & 19th. It was a big success! We had so many wonderful family and friends that donated items for us to sell. The goal was to raise money to put in the 'baby fund' to help pay for the adoption. And that we did!

Our town home's Home Owner's Association only allows for there to be one yard sale a year and they pick the weekend and location on the complex to have it. So we knew it was coming and had lots of time to prepare.

We're so grateful to my brother and his wife. They were there bright and early Saturday AM to help us set up. (They helped us break down also. A big thank you to them!) He also had a big donation box at his work for other employees to give items. Just about every day for a week he was coming over and dropping off different items. Some that were big $ items. We're so thrilled and honored that so many people took the time to go through their homes and packed up items for us. Their support means so much to us. We also enjoyed those who stopped by to visit us and make their donations by purchasing items.

My dear husband even made the great sacrifice and parted with some of his beloved "Star Wars" action figures. Including a giant size Millennium Falcon. We made sure they all went to good new owners.

My mother who passed away in May loved yard sales. Whenever she saw one she was compelled to stop. We had many of them growing up too. A long time family tradition. I now love them too. It was my first one that she wasn't at physically but I felt her spirit there. She would be happy to know that some of her clothes and items sold well. So, she helped contribute also. I know she was excited about us adopting and will be so happy for us once our baby is home with us. I miss her and will miss her even more when the baby is here but I know she is proud of me. Even though the purpose of the yard sale was to raise money for the adoption, it was also in honor of her, because she loved them so much.

It was exhausting and our sore, tired bodies took a while to recoupe from it all. But it was worth it. It's just part of the 'labor pains' we are more than willing to go through to have our baby.

Glenn's Physical

Had my official adoption physical last Friday - my first one in many a year. I really liked the doctor, and it turned out that he was studying at Tel Aviv University the same year I was there for the overseas program, and we lived in the same dorm complex. As Thomas Friedman says, the world is flat. It's pretty small too.

I had some blood drawn, and a TB test (my third this year - the previous 2 followed a minor TB outbreak at my old job). I do not, thankfully, have tuberculosis. Nor do I have rickets, gout, dropsy, or any other 1800's diseases. My blood pressure, EKG, and lung tests were perfect. The nurse, however, had to shave a little bit of my chest hair for the EKG, and it was very itchy for a couple days. I'm still waiting on my blood test results, and in the meantime, they need me to send a sample, via US mail, of... well, let's just say I'm glad I'm not the postman that day, given what I have to "doo."

After all the in-office stuff, I went to a local imaging lab to get an x-ray done. I'd been told it would be fast, but I ended up having to sit 2 hours in a cramped waiting room with a bunch of frustrated people and several bored children. I managed to bond with one toddler who kept staring at me, and an old lady who complained loudly on my behalf. The chest x-ray itself took all of 5 minutes, and I was happy to just work from home the rest of the day, since there was no real point going all the way back to the office for a couple hours.

The overall verdict is that I'm in darn good health, but could stand to lose about 20 pounds. I'd say more like 17 pounds, given that they weighed me with all my clothes on, plus shoes, keys, wallet, and cell phone. That's hardly fair, don't you think? Either way, it's a point well taken, and something I have all the more motivation to do, what with the adoption process moving along steadily.

My one-on-one with the Social Worker

Tonight I had my private meeting with the Social Worker. (Glenn will meet with her alone next week). It was an interview about my life. She asked many personal questions about my childhood, my teen years, my parents, my brother, my friends, our pets, past relationships, my beliefs. About how I will parent our child, why we're adopting, why now, etc, etc. It was interesting and a little odd. To be telling this stranger all these personal things. But I had no problem opening up and being honest. I'm a very verbose individual anyway, so it was easy. I did get emotional when she asked "What kind of mother was your mom?" Since my mom recently passed away this last May, I felt a wave of emotions remembering how loving and fun she was as a kid. I'm really going to miss having her around as grandma to our children. She was such an affectionate woman. But I will keep her memory alive by telling stories about her for sure.

The whole interview process took an hour and a half. She was very nice but also very serious. It's odd because we did not have a conversation. She asked questions and I answered. I'm used to conversing with people. It was a unique experience. I certainly had to take a moment to think through before answering some of the questions. Which I think is a good process. I feel so confident that Glenn and I will be such great parents. So, I wasn't nervous about the meeting at all. I knew all I could do was just be in the moment, listen and answer honestly, which is exactly what I did.

I'm happy it's done because it's another step closer to having our home study complete. Another step closer to being parents.

Next up, on Saturday we have our class on Trans-racial adoption. Looking forward to it. We had a whole booklet of questions to fill out to prepare for that. More thought provoking ones too.

paperwork!!!

writing our autobiographical statements ("what's a synonym for extraordinary??")


so many forms to sign!

Glenn's Home Study Post

For some reason, I had originally thought that Home Study was a series of classes we had to take, but it's actually a series of home visits made by the social worker to meet us, see our house, go over paperwork, and interview us individually. And first, we had the impression that this was some kind of test for us to pass or fail. But once we thought about it, we realized that the social worker isn't there to judge us (well, at least as long as we don't have any open sewer holes in our home, or walls covered in metal spikes... which we don't), but to help us and advocate for us. So that did change our attitude and concerns about the process. The Pathways class helped as well, especially since the people were so great and all the adoptions seemed to have twists and turns, but ultimately happy endings.

That didn't stop me from getting a little nervous and high strung when our social worker came by. But it was a very simple, matter-of-fact meeting. She went through our paperwork and listed anything we were missing. She gave us some tips on our 2-page Family Profile sheet (which is the first thing the birth mother sees of us, and thus our first "sales pitch"). Ours happened to be VERY fleshed out with details and descriptions, which she said was a bit overwhelming and might actually turn off the birth mothers. So we're going to re-write and simplify. As anyone who reads this blog knows, we have no shortage of words, so we'll have to edit.

We also found out that the autobiographical statements we wrote are really for the agency, not the mother, who will never read them. So perhaps 7 pages each was a little bit of overkill. But we are, of course, very excited and intent on letting everyone know not just how much we want to be parents, but how ready we are.

She did a quick walk-through of our home, and I was surprised that she didn't make comments like, "Oh you'll have to put a gate there," or "What are those metal spikes doing in the wall?" She was very nice and helpful, but it was a relief when she left and we could talk it over.

There's a lot for us to think about, and only a little bit more paperwork to do. The next big thing is the "Dear Birth Mother" letter, which we'll try to keep under 100 pages. ;-)

Our Home Study

This afternoon we had a visit from the social worker handling our home study. Glenn & I were really glad that we had the Pathways class (read Glenn's post about it) the day before hand. It helped us gain more insight and to know what to expect and to alleviate our nerves. Though I will admit, we still did have some right before we arrived. I wanted to make sure our home looked nice and it did. I even baked some chocolate chip cookies to offer her. (Glenn and I ate more than she did!) She was very nice and very thorough and helped us a lot.

Anyway, today was to go over all our paperwork that we had completed and to sign some more release forms. We have just about all the paper work done. Just need to make some minor adjustments and find out some more info to get to her.

She toured our home which she seemed to think will be fine for our baby. She asked what kind of baby we would like. We are open to a boy or girl and any race or mixed race. Of course, all expecting parents want a healthy child, as do we. But with adoption there are sometimes greater risks of not knowing exactly what health conditions of both birth parents are. So, we have to make very specific decisions about what we are willing to accept and able to handle. Whew! It can be a bit overwhelming. We just want a baby to love and wish we didn't have to think about things like this, but it is part of the adoption process. So will willingly go through it all. She gave us a lot of information and advised us to do more research and to let her know what we decide. So that's what we're going to do.

I tend to be a positive, open-minded kind of gal and believe that all is well no matter what, and whatever happens is meant to. But I do realize we must be fully aware of what our limitations are, and to weigh all the pros and cons to come to a conscientious decision about something that is as huge as this.

It's just odd, because when someone has a biological child they know what they are and are not putting into their own bodies so they can rest a little better knowing the changes of them having a healthy baby. When the child will come from someone else's body, it is out of your control. The desire is great to take any child because you want to love it and take care of it no matter what, but one must search deeply into their hearts and minds and their own situation to figure out what is best for the baby and for them. So that is what we are doing.

We meet again with the our home study social worker both separately. I meet her next week. Glenn will meet her the week after. Once she completes the home study we will be in the system for birth mothers to start choosing us. It takes a while to get all the results back from fingerprinting, since we're dealing with government agencies and they are backed up with work to do, and to cross all the 't's" and dot all the 'i's". So, the home study process should be done by November, maybe even sooner. We will be so happy!

We will get another social worker assigned to us that will do the matching of us with birth moms and take us through the whole actual adoption. She will be the liaison between us and the birth mom.

It's been a full weekend about taking closer to being parents. That makes me very happy!!

Angie's thoughts on our Pathways Class

I totally enjoyed the all day required class Glenn and I went to yesterday! It was so informative and we left with such great feelings. I especially loved meeting other people in the same boat as we are and hearing from them. I feel we made new friends!

Everyone was so open and honest and willing to share and asked great questions. I cried listening to some of them. I cried because I felt a connection with them. When I heard of specific adoption stories from others, I was especially emotional from hearing about their birth mothers. I feel such sensitivity for the pain they feel choosing to allow other people to parent and raise their child. It's a powerful thing and I believe a selfless thing to do. I respect them and honor them. I already feel a deep love for the stranger out there that will be the birth mother to our child. I wonder where she is now and what she is going through. My heart goes out to her. I look forward to meeting her, to hugging her, to thanking her. I especially look forward to honoring her by giving her child a loving home and wonderful life.

Those were some of the thoughts I left with yesterday after the class. I felt energized and even more excited. It all felt more real and that it will happen to us. After sitting around just filling out paper work the last couple of weeks, the connection with the other parents was a happy, healthy dose of what can happen. Even those with babies already, did go through complete ups and downs and pain and emotions, but it was all worth it once they have their beautiful children to love. That is how it will be for us.

Now I'm going to escape from reality and go watch the Emmy Awards!