Our Babymoon

My hubby and I just went away for an extended weekend with our dogs. It was a mini-vacation that we are hoping will be our Babymoon. That's the last trip you take together as a couple before the baby comes. We rented a cabin in the hills of Julian, California which is in San Diego County. It was just lovely. We brought the dogs because this cabin is geared for dogs to run around and play. Since we don't have a big backyard we knew they would love to roam around all that land and they sure did! They ran and dug holes and played and were just in doggie nirvana. It was glorious to watch. We also were able to nap and relax and BBQ and sit by the fireplace at night and connect and be romantic. It was a magical 3 days.

Our thoughts were filled with how much more fun it will be when we have our child with us. It will be more challenging and more to pack but so worth it. We talked about the many trips and vacations we took as children growing up and look forward to making those kinds of memories with our kids. I love traveling and the new facets of my personality it brings forth. I love experiencing new places and people and cultures. Even if it's just a few hours drive away I get a feeling of being away from it all and find the time to exhale and get a new perspective on my life. It's invigorating!

I also love antiquing and discovering old treasures in small over crowded little shops and antique malls in the small towns we find along the little winding roads or highways. You never know what you may find in them. I like the feeling of time gone by and the unknown memories the piece holds. I like yard sales for the same reason. Oh and getting a good bargain is nice too! These are things that my mother loved and instilled in me. I hope to also pass along this tradition of hunting for bargains and appreciating items that were once loved and now it's their time to move along to a new place. To see the value in all things and to find the story behind them. To observe people and to see that we are all connected and really the same at heart. These are things I think of when I visit new places.

I can't wait to hit the road with my little one and watch them grow and gain so much knowledge from all the places we'll travel to and the people we'll meet along the way!

Spring Holidays

Well, Passover & Easter have come and gone. We enjoyed them both, as we always do. Went to a lovely Seder which is that like a Jewish Thanksgiving. Good food, good people and an historical story to tell and remember. Also a time to be grateful. It's also a time for family and friends. We know ours will be bigger soon. We were able to be a part of a huge Easter egg hunt and seeing all the kids so excited was just adorable. I love seeing them all dressed up. Little boys in their sweater vests and ties and the girls in their pretty dresses. So sweet. Glenn and I just watched with big smiles on our faces knowing we would be watching our kids doing the same thing soon. We look forward to sharing with our children these wonderful traditions and teaching them the importance and special meaning each holiday holds for us. How fun it will be having our little one search for the hidden Afikoman and opening the door to let Elijah in at a Seder. How thrilling to hide eggs around our place for the little one to find. Hmmm. Similar traditions of "searching for something lost and then the joy in finding it." Symbolic. Wonderful!

I've had a big transformation lately. I'm feeling so much more at peace and much lighter. For so long, I've been "crazy lady, obsessed with being a mom" that I lost sight of who I was. I am Angela. I am me. I must not and cannot forget that. I must remember and know exactly who I am before our baby comes, so that 18 to 20 years later when they leave, I'm not a lost, empty woman wondering what happened to me. So, I'm really letting go of the the past and being in each moment. I'm more fully present and feel so grateful and happy. I'm also looking into things I can do to share with others and feel connected. So, I'm starting a local support group for adoptive parents. I'm really excited about it and already have a couple interested parties. It will start slowly and grow. Looking into ways to pamper and care for myself more and also be more active and productive. I'm not waiting for the phone to ring with that call that a birth mom has chosen us. I know it will happen when it's suppose to happen, however it will happen with the right person. I feel a big relief with this realization and shift in perception. I'm feel more authentically me.

My life is so good! I have an attitude of gratitude!!

The waiting is the hardest part!

Still waiting. I feel in limbo. I want to be a mom so much!!! It's not in my control. I can do nothing but wait. It's very frustrating, sad, upsetting and odd. The not knowing can drive you crazy!! We are sure keeping busy but we are filled with anticipation of becoming parents. Our minds and hearts are all about that. So it seems everything else is a distraction. We are focusing on really appreciating this time we have 'before the kids" when it's just us. Trying to bond more as a couple and work out any kinks we still have. We want to be the best us we can be, as individuals and as a couple. So, we do the work needed and we wait. It's hard, there is not denying it. The waiting is the hardest part. (Yes, I can hear the Tom Petty song in my head too.)