first birthmother meeting

Glenn here.

having just had our first meeting with a birthmother, and no clue what the results will be, I did notice a couple things that I keep thinking about.

first and most importantly, it seemed to me to be more about trying to see a connection between the moms - meaning her and Angie. knowing that this person has had a difficult past, and good reasons not to trust, I tried to not be too forceful in trying to connect with her or even make eye contact, which may sound strange but really wasn't. it felt like giving her her space. but Angie was able to break some of those barriers a little bit more so - more direct conversation and questions, and even a hug at the end. I shook her hand. but I was ultimately most hopeful that Angie's energy and spirit would make the connection. no clue whether it did, only time will tell.

secondly, as a writer I've often read (and been taught) that good dialogue has subtext - meaning people say one thing and really mean another. bad dialogue is just saying it on the nose. for example, "I'm crazy about you" has less meaning and depth than "I really like that shirt you're wearing" (when you want to be professing your love). this was a dinner that was all subtext and hidden meaning, and very little open discussion of the matter at hand. mostly by intention, but partly by situation. it was a scene that had crazy depth to it... we talked about everything and anything but the reason we were all there, and yet everyone knew that was really the discussion at hand.

as a creative person, I imagine myself someday channeling all these experiences into something fictional (and somehow entertaining)... no idea what form that would take, but if I were to ever attempt to circle around a moment like this, it wouldn't take much adaptation to make it a truly powerful scene. strangely, living it was slightly less emotional than the thought of witnessing someone else living it, which when I think about it seems exceptionally poignant. complete strangers coming together in hopes that the pains and loss of the past might somehow be redeemed with an act of love towards a being that doesn't even technically exist yet. but in the end it was just a dinner with an uncertain outcome.

amazing how this journey has brought us into situations that we never thought possible. all we can do now is hope and wait, as we've been doing for years, only it seems a lot more intense at the moment.