Another call!

I got a call from my social worker today saying she wanted to present us to a birth mom that was leaving the hospital today. Were were avail to pick up the baby that afternoon if she chose us? YES!! I said. She told me some details about the mom and baby and I said yes to all of it. I called my hubby right away and he said YES too, of course. I rushed home and we both started getting the room even more ready. He had literally just sold our Queen size bed that was in our former guest room, future nursery. We already planned to use this 4th of July weekend to get the room more organized. Wow! Our hearts were racing and our stomachs full of butterflies. We were told it was a little girl. I looked at all our the lovely clothes so many great friends and family have donated. I couldn't help linger on the girl clothes, wondering if we would really have a little one to wear them by that night!? I wanted to pick the first outfit out that we would bring our baby home in. So full of emotion. Such love is already in my heart for our baby. A giddy, nervous excitement we both felt.

Alas, we were not chosen. The birth mom chose a couple that already have children. She wanted her daughter to have siblings. I can understand that. The feeling in my stomach and chest immediately changed. It sunk. My heart was sad. We were both disappointed but knew it was just not meant to be. Now, still more time to prepare. It's all good. Just intense! Life could change that quickly! So surreal. So beautiful.

This little girl that will not be ours has a good home. That's a good thing. Throughout the day as we waited to hear, we sent loving thoughts and prayers to the birth mom as she made her decision. We also sent love & light to the little baby. We still do. We took many deep, long breaths to calm our nerves. We hugged each other a lot and made lists of what we need and what to do. I'm looking forward to doing them this weekend. We are going to register at Babies R Us and Target. That will be fun!

The baby today is an African-American. We are open to any race or sex. We know we just want a baby to love and will love it with all our hearts, as our own no matter what. Though once we knew it's ethnicity my sweet husband got on line and found some good articles to read about transracial adoption. More good info to have, just in case. We've already read many stories, articles and book and have taken seminars on the subject to prepare but it was good to further discuss possible conversations with others and with our child that we might have. I love that about us. We talk through everything. We are such great partners. I know we will make amazing parents. It was just 7 weeks ago, we were presented to another mom who did not choose us. We are getting closer. I can feel it.

We will be parents!! We will hold that sweet baby and all that we have gone through will just slip away and we will just focus on the magnifence of this perfect being and be in awe of the love we feel for him or her. I get emotional just thinking about. Right now, I just have an attitude of gratitude and will continue to live life with an open, gracious and loving heart.