Halloween

I've always loved Halloween. As a child it of course was about dressing up and getting candy. But now as an adult it's about seeing all the kids in their costumes and giving out candy. We had many trick-or-treaters come to our door this year. They are so cute. I love it. Glenn and I really enjoyed seeing all the princesses, superheros, pirates, star wars characters and little monsters reaching their little hands in to take the candy. Seeing all the parents wait patiently behind them and smiling proudly while reminding their cutie pies to say "thank you." As darling as it was, I felt a bittersweet feeling about it all. I'm still reminded of the loss of my last pregnancy just last year. It was one year ago today I found out I was pregnant. I took the home pregnancy test and woke up Glenn by saying "Honey, I know what we can be next year for Halloween. Parents!" We were both so happy. This year we are still longing and waiting for our child. I'm so relieved to know that we are in the process of adopting because perhaps now next year for Halloween we will actually get to be parents. I can't wait to have our lil one dressed in a costume and enjoying the holiday and all holidays with them. This time of year is such a joyous one usually for us and we decorate the house for Halloween, Thanksgiving and Channukah & Christmas to add to the festive feeling. My mother did it for us growing up and now I'm continuing the tradition. I do know we will be parents and when we are, all the sadness and emotions we've been through will all be worth it and will help us appreciate the gift all the more. But right now, I just had to write the truth of my feelings, that being patient is hard. That seeing others with their children and so happy is difficult.