Presenting again.

Got a call from our Social Worker on Wednesday saying "We have a birthmom that we want to present you to, let me tell you about her and the situation." Oh my goodness! My heart started to speed up and my stomach had butterflies! All the info she told me sounded fine to me and I wanted to yell "Yes! Please, go ahead!" But I knew I needed to call Glenn first and our SW agreed. So I did and he got off a business call right away when I told him there was a possible birthmom! He and I talked and felt good about giving the green light to move ahead. But we had just taken a new photo we wanted to use instead (see above, that's it) and we made some changes to our profile. My SW said I could bring it by her office the next morning. This mom has not delivered yet, so there is some time.


That whole night we kept our excited energy. We did some major praying and meditating to calm ourselves. We went to services to get some extra support and got it in spades! Everyone is so positive and encouraging. We love the philosophy they teach to stay in the moment and focus on all the blessings we already have. WE are more then enough whatever happens. It will happen. We will be parents. We must continue to believe that always.

So that is the foundation that has got me to tonight, sitting here writing this at 1:30 in the morning. It's not that I can't sleep. I've been on other adoption blogs and discussion boards for hours. It really helps to read about others who have gone through or are going through the same thing.

I have not received a call from my SW since Wednesday AM. I called and left a message this AM but wonder that she might be out for the holiday weekend. She was so great when I went to give her our new info and pix. She wanted to help make our profile perfect for this birthmom to choose us. It made me feel good and supported by her! But now, I wish she would have called even if to say, "She's still thinking it over and will let us know next week." Something like that would have been nice.

Even though I'm still working and going about my life, my mind sure can wander at times. Here are some random thoughts that have gone through my head since we found out we are being presented again for the 3rd time:

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- Please I hope this is the one!
- I feel good about this one. It just feels right and would be so perfect.
- Don't think that way and get your hopes up too much or else you'll be really disappointed.
- Third times the charm.
- I wonder what she is doing right now.
- If we don't get chosen, some other parents or parent will get to have their dream come true. That will be nice for them.
- I wonder what the other potential adoptive parents who were also presented are thinking. (I feel a connection with them.)
- I pray the birthmom will be at peace with her decision and have strength as she makes this very important decision.
- Our whole life could change any day now!
- I think about the baby and their journey to this planet.
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All day Thursday while I was with the 2 boys I nanny for I kept thinking, what will I do if she calls? I had my cell phone on my body every second. If the phone rang, my heart raced. But it was never her! I kept imagining how I would tell Glenn the good news.

I'm still on pins and needles, waiting and wondering when we will find out. Even if it's not our time, knowing, is better than not knowing.

It's obvious that I really, really hope for this to be our baby! I can handle it if it's not but will be sad, of course. I will feel that and go on knowing it wasn't meant to be. But I really hope this is it! Part of why it would be so perfect is Thursday was our 8th wedding Anniversary. We still went out and celebrated! Our mind and conversation did turn to the adoption quite a bit but we actually we were really calm and happy and just enjoyed our time together.

We continued with our annual Anniversary tradition and returned to the place we got married. (The Castaway in the Burbank Hills) Every year we return to the same Gazebo we were married in and we restate our original vows and add new ones that pertain to that current year. We like to say "We renew the contract." This year was so special and emotional. We felt so connected and in love!

I'm so grateful for my husband and our marriage. He truly is my best friend. I would marry him all over again. I guess I do every year! I would not want to be on this journey with anyone else.

I'm so grateful to all the support we receive from friends and family. My dear friend Dana is going to throw me a Baby Shower next month! I can't wait. How fun it will be to all our friends and family together to celebrate our adoption and our baby. I sure hope the baby will be here before then. If the baby does not, come it's okay. I'd rather be more prepared and together then not.

Another thing that would make this match so nice is that it was exactly 1 year ago that we officially started the adoption process. When I first started this blog. It was our anniversary present to ourselves. Getting our baby would be the best present ever!! It's not due until sometime in October. My birthday is October 2nd. I want nothing more than to be a Mommy for my birthday!