What the ???

OMG! I checked the news on line today like I do every day and the headlines were about a woman who conceived another baby while already pregnant!!! What the ______?!! It's very rare they say but has happened before. I will admit that it felt like a blow to the stomach. Here I am, having had 3 miscarriages and not able to get pregnant again for almost 2 years now and almost 44 years old, so the chances are getting smaller and smaller and then to read this!! OUCH! It sure doesn't seem fair!

It also reminds me of my last pregnancy. I made it to just about 11 1/2 weeks. They say after 12 weeks the chances of miscarriage drop drastically. So we were feeling like we were in the clear. The heartbeat was strong and looked well. On one of the last ultra sound appointments, they found another sac growing also and my OB/GYN even brought in her partner to take a look because she was so baffled by it. They said how rare that is. We made jokes about me having 3 cats and maybe having a "litter" rubbed off on me. They said it would be one for the books, that's for sure. I left feeling so special and like it was a miracle. If it was two babies, we would have been doubling blessed. Then just one week later at my next appointment the ultra sound showed no heartbeat and that they were now misshaped and I was having a miscarriage. In just one week's time, from feeling so elated and full of joy to the full other end of the spectrum. Complete heartbreak and devastation. It will be two years ago this December it happened. I have done much grieving and healing in that time period and am grateful for the strength we have gained from that experience. That doesn't mean I'm glad it happened. I still wish it didn't, but it is what is and life goes on. We still have our love. We have decided not to be defined by just that. We are so much more.

Hearing about this woman was just a bit surprising. I'm finally getting better at hearing news of others pregnancies but this is just a bit too much! Comparing lives to others doesn't help at all. That's her path and I'm on mine! I am just going to focus on the little one that is going to be ours through adoption. Just hope to be matched soon! Getting tired of the waiting!! Just had to vent! On to enjoy my day now!