Support Group

Glenn & I went to a Pre-adoption support group tonight. I've had a cold these last couple of days and not feeling well but since it was the first meeting of 8, I really wanted to make the effort. Even though my head my all stuffy, I'm really glad I went.

It's a group for parents who have dealt with infertility or not able to have kids who are in the process of adopting or considering adopting. It was recommended to us by our adoption agency. It is run by a therapist who specializes in this subject. She is a mother of two. Her first was adopted, her second was by an egg donor. She also deals with that family choice and surrogacy in her practice.

It was a small intimate group in the therapist'soffice. Two other couples and one single woman. I went wanting to meet others going through the unique journey of adoption and I'm always open to learning more and gaining new insights.

Both of us were glad we went. Listening to one of the couples, who are waiting to be matched in domestic adoption like we are, share their emotional roller coaster they've dealt with was sad and touching. I always love when people can allow themselves to be so honest and raw. The other couple are just starting to investigate the possibility of adoption. Same for the single women.

When we meet people for the first time it's hard not have that little voice in your head making opinions and judgments about them. Not too cool, but it's normal and what we do. Then what I love, is that once you start talking and getting to know them, you were not right in your opinions. They surprise you with who they are. That is exciting and reminds me why it's not a good idea to make quick judgments. That's why I went into this support group with an open mind and ready to receive whatever I could from the other people and the therapist.

After it ended, I felt really good about all we have done to educate ourselves. It was a reminder of what a painful and rough journey we've been through and yet we seem to have the ability to continue to go on and remain faithful, positive and with our sense of humor in tact. I admire that about us! I'm proud of us. We are strong and I believe have become even stronger through all this.

On the car ride home we were inspired to open up more about some of our own fears and worries and able to dissipate them some just by opening up and talking. We are fully aware being adoptive parents will be challenging. We are ready and know there will always be more to learn. Just like any parents. Sometimes you learn as you go along, no matter how prepared you think you are. Once you're in it, is when the real schooling begins.

Lord, know it has not always been easy. Actually there have been times, it down right sucks and is SO painful and frustrating! But bottom line, we knew that going in. We were well informed and went for the ride anyway. I'm talking about the adoption process. I will admit I was not at all prepared for having 3 miscarriages. Total surprise and there is no way to know how to deal with that kind of heartache other than just going through it. Thank goodness we had a great therapist at the time and we have such honest communication.

This Saturday is the second meeting of the Adoptive Parents Group I started. More members have joined! I'm really looking forward to it! No professionals. Just us grownups talking and sharing. Totally informal. I'll let you know how it goes!