Paperworking

We're deep in the process of filling out forms, answering questions, digging into our family and medical histories. It's quite strange that you'd have to somehow "prove yourself" when adopting a baby, since anyone with a pulse can birth a baby and no one questions it. That aside, it's been a fun and interesting process. In a sense, we're selling ourselves, and every answer feels like it means something or might have an impact on the process. Would the mom like this answer, or not? Should we spin this question to be funny, or just factual? How can we get our personalities across in a yes or no checkbox? How will they know that we're the right couple to give what is the ultimate gift, their own flesh and blood? Of course, we still have many more forms to complete, and our biographies, but in the meantime we've had some good advice on how to feel okay with this part of the process, which Angie's just written about in her post.

One thing I'd like to mention, since I haven't really weighed in on the subject, even though Angie kind of already said it... is that adoption is something that we've both always wanted to do. Even when we first started dating and those questions of children came up early on, we both discovered that we had a mutual desire to adopt and share our love with a child (or children) whose birth parents aren't able to take care of them or want a better life for them. That doesn't mean we don't still want a child who shares our DNA, or that the miscarriages weren't huge losses. But it also doesn't mean that adoption is some kind of second-best for us. It's exactly what we want, and what we've always wanted. It's not noble or a sacrifice to us, any more than having a child the natural way would be.

This is perfectly encapsulated by a touching comment just posted by a former coworker (and current friend) of mine who I never knew was herself adopted:

Adoption is no less a miracle than birth. My mom still tells the story of my "delivery" with wonder in her voice. I was blessed with the most amazing parents, who made sure I knew from the start that I was adopted, and that being adopted was something quite special and extraordinary.

We hope our child will someday write something as poignant as that.

Although, it would be nice if it weren't so darn expensive! If only all those Star Wars action figures were still mint-in-box... sigh.