Glenn's thoughts on our Pathways Class

Yesterday (Saturday), we had an all-day class called Pathways, which is the core required adoption class. We didn't know what to expect, and I kind of assumed it would be a somewhat tedious seminar.

But it turned out to be a truly fascinating daylong conversation between 10 adoptive parents and a social worker. Each adoptive couple or person was in a different situation - 2 of them already had a baby in their homes and were doing the requirements post-placement, 2 have babies on the way in a month, and ourselves and 1 other couple had just started the process.

We learned a lot about different ways open adoptions work - they can vary from extremely minimal contact like just sending photos once a year, to high levels of contact to the point of regular visits. I'll hold off for now on what we think of open adoptions and what we're comfortable with right now, since this post is more about the class we took.

During the lunch break, one of the couples invited everyone back to their place which was nearby. It was a lot of fun, and very special to bond with people in a similar situation. We really liked all of the couples we spent the day with, but lunch was the moment when we all came together as a group. We also got to meet their adopted daughter, now 5 months old, who is beautiful and healthy.

In the afternoon, a couple came by who recently completed their second adoption, to speak and share their story. It was another great illustration how every adoption, like every birth, is dramatically different. Their older son was from a 16 year-old girl who seemed very smart and mature about her decision, stays in touch with the adoptive couple, and is on her way to college now thanks to the positive choices she made. The process for their daughter, now almost a year old, was quite the opposite - high in drama and uncertainty and last minute reversals in which they almost didn't get the baby. That birth mother was older, but for some reason more immature. But it all did work out.

We came away feeling very reassured and more confident than ever about our decision, and with a better sense of how unique each adoption is. Some happen faster than people can get their paperwork done, others take years. We also got everyone's contact information, and intend to keep in touch. There's a very real need among adoptive couples for support groups and just social contact with other adoptive families, and the nonprofits don't have a lot of resources to pull those kinds of things together beyond the immense complexity of the adoption process itself. So we're thinking we might try to do it ourselves, especially since we connected so well with the other people in our Pathways class.

As a result of the day, we are all the more excited about what's to come!